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Father has asked me to talk to one of my baby brothers this weekend when he comes for a visit. He is 32 and is as obese, maybe more than as I once was. He got bloods taken about a week ago and he is low on b 12 and has high cholesterol but his sugars are OK for the moment. We fear that he could end up with diabetes like myself, as it can run in the family. I was fine for years while being obese, then all of a sudden I had loads of heath problems. With Diabetes, once you get it, you have it for life, even if you lose all the weight and are able to come of meds. It still needs to be kept under control!

Last month 2 of our cousins both in their 40's had heart attacks with in a couple of weeks of each other and they aren't obese. So My parents are worried about my brother. They are hoping that I can encourage him to get healthier and lose weight like I am doing. I know from experience that you have to be in the right frame of mind and you need to make the decision for yourself! He is very sensitive in general. He was the one that I made cry the last time he was down when I gave out about the mess etc.

So how do I tell him that he needs to lose weight and eat healthier etc, without it sounding like an attack or being harsh and putting him on the defensive?

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Tue Sep 13, 2011 5:15 am
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Post Re: My Father has..
Honestly F-Bomb, and I say this is someone deeply in denial about how overweight I am and incredibly lazy, it's called "writing on the wall" as far as I can tell. If he can be in that family, knowing about the diabetes and heart attacks, and wants to do nothing about is weight, truly, I don't expect much you can say could convince him.. But by all means try to find something to give him the incentive. With health I find it's easy to put it off until your first heart attack or until, in my case, the retinopathy hits your good eye, to start doing things right. If you can find him a reason that isn't just his health, such as his kids or something, maybe youo can convine him. Maybe you could start by inviting him to the gym with you or something? Tell him how good you're feeling after a workout and you think he'd enjoy that feeling or something. Don't even mention the weight, just make it sound more fun, talk about the endorphines and how sweet that first cuppa is when you get back (dammit I'm craving a cuppa!) and see if he bites. If he's reluctant then maybe suggest he's appproaching that age where you have to start looking after yourself better, and he should be doing all he can to ensure he's around in 25 years to see his kids grow up, etc.

That's the best approach I can think of, but you know him better, so obviously feel free to ignore or modify my suggestions. I hope you can reach him, it's awful to watch family go through things they don't need to if they only made more effort with their health.

Now excuse me, I have to go call a kettle black.

All the best
Mr Teapot.

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Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:46 am
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Post Re: My Father has..
Thank you Dan,

Well I think I have had a break through. He had results from his bloods the other week and he had told me over the phone that the Doctor gave him a diet sheet. So today, chatting on Face book I asked him if he got that diet sheet from the doctor yet, he said yes, I then asked how it was going and he said ok but hard to keep up. I suggested that he bring it down with him at the week end and I would go over it with him. I then asked if he would be interested in being my "getting healthy Buddie" and he said yes! So I think I have a foot in the door. Fingers crossed.

I totally understand where you are coming from Dan as I was/am the same. My parents asked me to help and because I know that the change has to really come from yourself, I knew that this was going to be a tough one! All I can do is give him some advice and hints and tips and hopes he takes it in.

He is single with no kids. He has a non malignant tumor in front of his frontal lobe, which he has had since he was a baby and it grew there all his life. It causes problems like not detecting thirst etc. He only found out about this a few years ago. The doctors never detected this when he was young, they just said he had a big head and was a little slow. Yes he is a little slower than the rest, but if they remove the tumor now it could totally change his personality and turn him into someone else. They say it is safer to keep it there.

Can't go to the gym with him as he lives in Dublin and we live in Roscommon. I will let him know that he will have my full support as much as I can do.

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Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:05 am
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Post Re: My Father has..
Charles Bronson's book, Solitary Fitness. Get yourself a copy, get him a copy, and make a pact with each other to do it together :) All ya need is yourself, a floor, for some exercises high tech gear like a towel or a chair. That's it :)

Yes, I recommend that book at every opportunity :p

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Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:03 am
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I might leave that until I am fitter! Just doing squats and lunges etc are making me ache as it is! lol! I walk and lift weights too. Interesting idea though, I wouldn't mind giving it a read. My brother would run for the hills if I ask him to follow anything too hard, well not until he is fitter any way! I Loved the film Bronson, played by Tom Hardy.

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Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:28 am
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Post Re: My Father has..
F-Bomb wrote:
if they remove the tumor now it could totally change his personality and turn him into someone else.



Not necessarily a bad thing. It could have a positive affect on his attitude towards losing his weight and becoming a healthier person.


Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:55 pm
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Post Re: My Father has..
F-Bomb wrote:
Can't go to the gym with him as he lives in Dublin and we live in Roscommon. I will let him know that he will have my full support as much as I can do.



What if I could give you a program that BOTH of you could do on your own at home and then share your results? Something simple naturally. If you're both doing the same program and you really start pushing it you might have a great tool to pull him along with... just a thought.

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Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.


Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:10 pm
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you could try exercising together via webcam. or at least monitoring each other's workouts if your exercise schedules vary too much?

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Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:35 pm
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That would be great Mikey but our fitness levels would be so completely differnet. He is an inch taller than me but about 5 to 6 stone heavier. I have been getting fitter over the Summer, he hasn't. So we would be at different levels, if you know what I mean?

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Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:15 pm
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F-Bomb wrote:
That would be great Mikey but our fitness levels would be so completely differnet. He is an inch taller than me but about 5 to 6 stone heavier. I have been getting fitter over the Summer, he hasn't. So we would be at different levels, if you know what I mean?



no, not necessarily. Since you're going to be doing it individually I could make it based around the same basic activities just change your times/reps etc... so you can still serve as a motivator to him. Believe me, if I can team train 4 women at ONE TIME I can handle this, :aok:

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I have flying monkeys and I'm not afraid to use them!

Listen here sonny, there aint no disaster.
There aint no shame in bein' beaten by a master!
~ Johnny Lang - Rack 'em up


Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.


Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:41 pm
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Bigmikey wrote:
F-Bomb wrote:
That would be great Mikey but our fitness levels would be so completely differnet. He is an inch taller than me but about 5 to 6 stone heavier. I have been getting fitter over the Summer, he hasn't. So we would be at different levels, if you know what I mean?



no, not necessarily. Since you're going to be doing it individually I could make it based around the same basic activities just change your times/reps etc... so you can still serve as a motivator to him. Believe me, if I can team train 4 women at ONE TIME I can handle this, :aok:



That would be great thank you! :hug:

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Wed Sep 14, 2011 4:27 am
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