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 Why do I keep doing it to myself? 
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Post Why do I keep doing it to myself?
Why oh why do I keep letting people in to screw with my head and feelings? I must have a disorder!! Tried to clear the air with a person who used and lied to us when we went out of our way for years to help and look after and do our best to be good friends. I hate having bad feeling with people and I thought that after time apart we could just clear the air, not wanting the old friendship, just not hold bad feelings and move on, but nothing had changed and I got my fingers burnt again and feelings hurt! I will never learn? I have always had too much faith in people and I get it slapped back into my face! No wonder I have social phobia, (told that It is what I have this past week) when I have had my trust broken by so many people and be used and abused and taken advantage of! You would think that after all these years I would have toughened up and learned my lesson! I feel like I have let myself down! I gave this person too much credit! Why are people so selfish and only think of themselves? They think that they are the only ones that have it hard and blame everyone else for their own failings and problems!! :cry: I wish I had the power to let go of feelings and say well feck them and move on. Instead I get upset for days and find it hard to get it out of my system! :bang:

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Sat Oct 22, 2011 2:56 pm
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Post Re: Why do I keep doing it to myself?
The fact that you reached out makes you one of the good ones, in my book. I've no idea if this will help, but my philosophy is I want to be one of the good guys in life. I know this means I'll get fucked over once in a while, but I consider that a small price to pay for the other 99 times when I'll get a positive response - anything from making someone's day to making a lifelong friend.

Remember, these things stick out because they are so intense. Emotionally, one bad experience can swamp out many good ones. We seem to be hard-wired that way to some extent. Maybe try thinking back to an occasion when you reached out to someone and they responded positively?

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Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:29 pm
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Post Re: Why do I keep doing it to myself?
:(

*hug*

can't really offer much advice, but for what it's worth, at least consider that this means that you are someone who is truly dedicated to others. like cosmic said, you know that you make the effort, and you feel good reaching out to other people, even if they do not always reach back out to you, and that in itself is worthy of respect. if you were to harden yourself against this, who's to say you wouldn't lose or dim that spark of solidarity that you have now?

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Sat Oct 22, 2011 5:27 pm
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Post Re: Why do I keep doing it to myself?
F-Bomb, my girl, I feel for you.... :hug:

I myself am that way, and I know exactly how you feel. I have found that when people blame others for their issues....and many do....its because they don't have the inner strength to face the reality and fix it. They don't have the strength to admit they aren't perfect.
But you know what this means?
It means that you do have that strength and more. It means that you can keep moving forward and always trying to be the best you can be. And part of that means giving people chances. It means being compassionate, kind, caring, understanding and sympathetic. Because to be the best you can be it means being all those things and so much more. It means you are strong, fierce, protective and an fighter.
Even though it will hurt and hurt and hurt....keep doing what you are doing. As the boys said, you are one of the good ones.

Try, if you can, when they hurt you, remind yourself....they are children they don't know any better. That is what has helped me be able to move on and not be depressed for a week.

You can do it. :D Love you girl. :heart:

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Sat Oct 22, 2011 11:04 pm
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Post Re: Why do I keep doing it to myself?
All you can do is make sure you've done your best to stay true to YOUR principles. You did that. You tried to clear the air, and lay things to rest. Thats all the ownership you can take here. If someone ELSE chooses to be a dick about it thats on them.

In fact you're probably better off seeing it that clearly NOW vs assuming the person had changed and then getting it tossed at you later after you'd reinvested yourself. As far as I'm concerned the problem here isn't yours to overcome, its theres, F-Bomb.

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Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:25 pm
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Post Re: Why do I keep doing it to myself?
Thank you guys! :heart:

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Thu Oct 27, 2011 12:53 pm
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