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 The Public Gym Rant Thread 
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Post The Public Gym Rant Thread
Every forum with even a tiny weightlifting section needs a gym rant thread. So I'm starting one here. This thread is intended to be light-hearted, so feel free to use a little poetic licence to sex up your stories. :D

I work for a large College. Large enough to have a reasonably good gym. It's also pretty tolerant - we're allowed to deadlift - and no one complains if we drop it a little too hard. We're also allowed to use chalk! *gasp*. Pretty damn cool for a public gym, right? I just found out today that we're not allowed to deadlift in socks, apparently for safety reasons, it's a little annoying, but that's cool, I have no big problem with that rule.

Anyway, me and a couple of mates started a small thing we call "Deadlift Friday". I was over there today, all chalked up. Coz I'm a nice bloke, I use liquid chalk so that the cleaners have an easier time after we've gone. I did my sets and reps and walked over to the water fountain to clean my hands off - unlike regular chalk blocks, that stuff really sticks. Halfway through, some whiny knob comes up to me and starts moaning that it's a drinking fountain and I shouldn't be washing my hands in it. I'm a pretty sarcastic bloke, so I gestured at the waste pipe and the inflow pipe and gently pointed out how they were kept separate via the marvels of modern plumbing, specifically to prevent contamination. I'm pretty sure that, if we had those universal translators like they have on Star Trek, his words would have been translated to a shrill whining sound with the barely-audible words in the background "awwwww, you're in front of me and I want you to hurry uuuuuuuup". I had a quick check to see if there were any signs saying "drinking water only" and there weren't. So I grabbed a paper towel, stepped out of his way, walked past the hand soap dispenser (erm, big hint there mister!) and carried on my merry way.

Next time I use that fountain, I'll have to give it a little wipe down in case it's still contaminated with man-estrogen.

Friendship is like peeing yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you get to feel the warm glow it brings.

Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:00 am
The Queen of Poo
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Post Re: The Public Gym Rant Thread
Just happened to see this, lol...

My 2 complaints about the public gym here:

- fat women coming up to me and asking for help with their exercises...seriously wtf? I am a member of the public, not your motherfucking personal trainer...

- Brain dead roid monkeys. Often you see Homo Non-Sapiens Megaloceras come in in a group and take turns and these dudes can't just work out and be done with it...half their time is spent striking postures, grunting, and walking around the place with this peculiar ape-like walk in which they manage to whiplash in about a 1m radius as if to say...this is MY pissing ground...everyone get out of here or face my wrath. They also like to leave the room for like 10 minutes but throw a fit if someone wants to use the weight machines when they get back in. One time a gang of these was taking turns using the dumbbells in front of the mirror and man...One was actually using them while the others stood around trying to look badass and he was only warming up with some 5kg ones - yes, I looked - and he was grunting and straining like he was trying to force an angry rottweiler out his anus. I burst out laughing right there in mid exercise. I couldn't help it.

[quote=Cheeky Monkey, over IM]*poops and smears the shit over my butt cheeks in a sexualized fashion*[/quote]

Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:13 am
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Post Re: The Public Gym Rant Thread
Admittedly it's been a while since I darkened the doorstep of a gym other than my basement, lol, but I used to get miffed at a few things I remember.

I HATE HATE HATE guys that think their $18 a month gives them OWNERSHIP of the gym which YOUR $18 a month does not. They walk in, turn the temp up or down, toss their shit everywhere and hog equipment for hours and if you say something you're a punk. I'm a pretty mellow dude in public but I've gotten nose to nose with a few people like this. I don't care who you think you are pick up your shit and take it with you. Just cause you start at the leg press and move on through your leg workout doesnt mean you get to leave a little piece of yourself at each forkin piece of equipment! What, you're so stupid from holding your breath for so long in between reps that you cant remember how to get back OUT of the gym? Is that it? These are your little stinky bread crumbs? Get a forkin guide dog then ya prick....

Sorry.... guess that one still gets me a bit miffed, lol..

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Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:23 am
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Minister of Propaganda
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Post Re: The Public Gym Rant Thread
my complaint about gyms:

there are people in them.

that is all.

"When I die, they will put my body in a box and dispose of it in the cold ground. And in all the million ages to come, I will never breathe, or laugh, or twitch again. So won't you run and play with me here among the teeming mass of humanity? The universe has spared us this moment."

Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:42 am
Profile YIM
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Post Re: The Public Gym Rant Thread
The 120lbs kids that try and lift weight and act like they are all blown up when their done.

The guy who always feels he needs to come and talk to you the whole time your in the gym. When I got to the gym that is my time. I don't want to be talking about chicks or anything else so please go away.

And my biggest rant is, guys who cannot set their weight down and feel they need to drop it. WTF is wrong with you? If you can't put it down don't-cha think you should not pick it up? I've been lifting for only a few years but NOT once have I had to throw my weight's down on the ground. forking douche bags... If I wasn't a changed man I would take one of the Barbell Bars and wrap it around their empty forking head.. OK,, off my soap box.


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In Life I Fail and Fail again that;s why I Succeed.

Mon Jan 17, 2011 12:35 pm
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Post Re: The Public Gym Rant Thread
What I don't like about gyms is that my couch isn't there. Not to mention the ladies seem to get offended with the the head bobbing that occurs while I stare at them while they run on the treadmill. Would probably help if I didn't have one hand in the bag of chips and one in my pants.

Seriously though, being on an Army base going to the gym can be quite craptacular. Most of the guys feel like they're competing with everyone else who's there. If you can't run as fast as they can around the track, can't seem to lift quite as much as they can or grunt as loud as they can in the weight room then you're not 'up to their level'.

I usually just find a corner of the gym not being used and work on kata and what not. Though I had one Infanteer ask me the other week if I was trying to be Mr. Miyagi. I asked him if he wanted to wax my car. He looked all confused and walked away.

Upon being asked what his greatest accomplishment so far this year has been:

Cheeky Monkey wrote:
i have recently become two hamburgers


Mon Jan 17, 2011 3:58 pm
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